It seems almost natural to feel as if there is something else guiding me, my motions, my words, toward or from some purpose that is also not my own. Natural to the point that I GET it, yet still alien to me in the most emphatic sense of the word.
The conscious mind is a blip on the radar when contrasted with the scale of what the brain, and the mind, are actually doing at any given time. I realize that my motions when I practice martial arts have set deeply into my muscle memory, the patterns set deeply in my brain, as the bit of my brain that part of ‘me’ is mapped to is gone over again and again, the neurons firing in the same order as the time before, and before, and before that. This creates a sense of ‘otherness’ in myself, as my conscious mind is required less and less as more is handled automatically by the mental and physical infrastructure brought about by constant, repetitive training.
The same can be said when I write. It sometimes feels as if it is coming from ‘somewhere else’ because everything I write, the words, the order they are structured in, the rhetorical devices I might use, are all built of what I have written before, thought processes I have had before, and the current state of the complex web of patterns and ideas that comprise what I view to be ‘me’. Of course this ‘me’ is built of older patterns and ideas that have been refined or tossed aside, forever leaving their touch. The words come through me, from imprintations that run deeper than the narrow field of consciousness.
The abyss of the you that is not ‘you’ is deep. All we really have to work with at any given time is a sliver of consciousness, a microfraction of a live stream of data being mapped to our brain on a scale that would make any supercomputers metaphorical jaw drop to the floor. It’s all in there, it’s all ‘you’, yet mostly it is stuff you will never consciously remember or think about, but it’s there. This is the pool drawn from by the spiritualists and mystics of the world.
It’s a false duality. The conscious mind, whether actor or observer, is simply a phenomenon we create. The complex machine we are is much more than our ego and our language to describe it, yet we sequester ourselves within our egos as we strive to put boundaries on our world, and in so doing creating a divide with the rest..the abyss that exists within us.
Herein are where Gods pass on their revelations to their prophets, and herein is where the hereafter was born. The ‘other’ is simply ‘the rest’ once you close the gap, and truly realize the great lie of the Magi.
The Wall
I spent a few years in Genbukan Ninjutsu after I left the military as well. The former was more of a spiritual escape and something to direct unspent energy into. One can only watch TMNT so many times before the urge becomes compulsion.
I find transcendence in a exhausting productive workout. Endorphins help with that feeling of wellness, and it helps piece it all together for me at least. We better ourselves through repetition. Muscles remember and work more effectively through practice, much like our brains and our own ideas of what we think is best.
I have written in a online journal for many years, and that is where the bulk of my written work lies. It is public but private, you can find it if you know what to look for. I mention this as I have watched my thoughts shift over the years as I wrote and it was fascinating to see how my brain worked as I aged. Thought isn't as tangible as looking in the mirror at the results of weight training, but it is more satisfying to see progress being made in your mind.
On a side note: Buddhists always seem to have all the answers, and self control. My music teacher in H.S. was a Buddhist, and Kung Fu instructor. He had the biggest impact on me growing up.
I love Krav, mixed with "Combativs" by Kelly McCann. I use both.
I spent a few years in Genbukan Ninjutsu after I left the military as well. The former was more of a spiritual...See more
However, the purpose of the lhp as i see it is to root out certain automatic programming and automatic reaction, pruning it like a banzai. This becomes impossible if you identify with any idea you might hold too tightly, because it will become a sacred cow. Sacred cows are the arch nemesis.
If anything, it is a matter of letting go and becoming what you are, in totality, that I am driving at here. The idea that we 'are' only our conscious mind, our preferences, and our beliefs is harmful to LHP praxis. These things are best kept disposable on a psychological level, which can only really be accomplished by directly challenging the things you hold dear. In this way, your 'automatic self' is refined and streamlined by the 'conscious self', which is in turn sharpened by the whole process.
Indeed, i see what you mean. You are correct in your assessment of my meaning.
However, the purpose of the lhp as i see it is to root out certain automatic programming and automatic rea...See more
@Enthropic: true, but again imo, it is still a part of the computer until something takes its place.@Dan: Agree. If one does not see the need to delete one program for a better or more useful one on his/her path or just rid one self of old useless ideas the mind gets bogged down and useless as it we...See more