User blogs

Forums, boards, social networks, corporations, gangs, religions, charities, cults, and the list goes on.  Groups of people slap labels on their foreheads not just because they have common goals, but because they want to belong.  The label becomes an identity while each individual mixes their own neurotic dispositions into the symbols they've adopted.

When I was a teenager, I had a tight-nit group of friends. There was a guy who saw what we had, so he tried to get in out it. He had all sorts of ambitions and ideas for the group, but his game was so laughably obvious that it was easy to exploit him at every turn.  His cost for wearing our label was high.

Over the years, I've seen plenty of people across different groups get mindfucked by labels. They never achieve their own goals, let alone come up with their own. I can't say I've been immune to that either.

Both online and offline, there's a myriad of groups one finds themselves a part of. It's not the label that matters so much as the value created by the interpersonal network. Even if the goal is simply to communicate ideas, there is a plethora of ways to engage.

 What makes this place a better facilitator? Is CoD just another tired label? Pixelated discussions and Internet soap opera seem to only go so far.
Entropic Jul 30 · Comments: 6
Satan here. Circle of Descent is back up, running, and under new management. Stay tuned. That is all.
satanhimself Jul 26 · Comments: 22

I got this from Jason Sorrell last night.

XiaoGui17 Jan 8 '14 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 7
Excellent points as always.

My own philosophy is roughly 1/3 Pythagorean, 1/3 Nyingma School, and 1/3 other various bullshits. Your analogy to the number line (as The Expression Field/Nirmanakaya) is one that I use quite often. We get to this point when we arrive at the ultimate scenario: Either nothing exists (the vacuum), or everything does (the plenum), and these states of affairs are actually nondual.

In this way, I can create something out of nothing by asymptotic limitation, which is just the Nature of Mind (sems-nyid), or the shattered "vase-body" or Logos. To "see" partially and incompletely of necessity. And this fact acts as logical foil to the incoherent concept of omniscience, since any such "knowing" would be nondual with it's essence, which is just shunyata, or emptiness. Which is why the negative theologians actually got it right.

What can we say about This? Nothing. Except that It is worthy of awe. A god rightly so-called. And the closest thing (esse) to us. Our divine heritage. Our "buddha-nature".

JK Jan 2 '14 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 1
Harvey was a momma's boy
Cock got hard when her arse made noise
Sometimes he'd hide to take a peek
Or stroke his prick as her bed squeaked
He tried her clothes and eclectic toys
It bothered him that she had other boys

Harvey wanted her on his pole
He alone had not fucked her holes
She'd dress him up with pretty skirts
Sell his man-pussy to old perverts
Squealing followed by sobbing groans
as the devil dogs bury their bones

Mother's sissy with a delicate heart
All too familiar with cum soaked farts
Never seemed to please old mum
She'd make him plug his gaping bum
Ashamed to say this was her son
Harvey could've been an abortion.
StinkFist Dec 28 '13 · Rate: 3.86 · Comments: 53

"Simple stimulation of the brain can cause the mind to play complex and creepy tricks on itself, neurologists have discovered." Source

Well no shit.  [Shahar Arzy1,3, Margitta Seeck2,3, Stephanie Ortigue3,4, Laurent Spinelli2 & Olaf Blanke1,3]

Being aware in the moment of what you're doing vs. what you believe you're doing, is essentially the mindfuck:  Affect Doppelganger

It's like that moment when you look at a picture of yourself and think:  That's not me.  It sort of looks like me but I see myself a different way in my own head.

Your own brain is an actor.  Sometimes you (the impulses that are the essence of what you are) direct it but mostly its directing you.  If you've ever driven the same route every day for years, arrived at your destination but have no recollection of having driven it; you know what I mean.  

Your brain is off doing tasks, meanwhile you're driving a car and stopping at lights and stop signs and the fact that you arrived at your destination unscathed is a good indication that the actor was playing its parts.

Neurologists would classify some habit forming behaviors (such as driving) the pathway to a deeper awareness.  You don't have to consciously think about driving because the habit is ingrained in muscle memory.  So if your mind wanders off, you're not driving into on-coming traffic or falling subject to highway hypnosis.

Good/Bad Habits - Being a creature of habit creates this sort of alter you.  It can get to a point where the controls are no longer in your hands and you've become an automaton to habit programming.  The Good are considered a way to creativity (See: Dupree), while the Bad steps to self annihilation.  

The mind will even rationalize away obvious self-defeating habits.  It's the Doppleganger in the mirror telling you, you're in control... The worst part?  You believe it (See: The Trouble with Belief).  

I catch myself doing it all the time.  Like, reaching for a glass that isn't there on the night stand.  Habitually, I keep a glass of water there in the event I get thirsty during the night from the dry heat of the central air system.   Once in a while, there's a skip in programming.  I forgot to get the water but my brain remembers the reaching part so I'm snatching at nothing. It seems really absurd to me when it happens.  I know what's going on there and why I'm looking for an imaginary glass but it sure as shit doesn't stop me from the physical impulse to search for it in the dark.  

The mirror image of yourself, is the anthropomorphous comfort-zone.

“Whenever we initiate change, even a positive one, we activate fear in our emotional brain,..." 

Using Kaizen as a concept model:

“If the fear is big enough, the fight-or-flight response will go off and we’ll run from what we’re trying to do. The small steps in kaizen don’t set off fight or flight, but rather keep us in the thinking brain, where we have access to our creativity...”

“After the churn of confusion, the brain begins organizing the new input, ultimately creating new synaptic connections if the process is repeated enough.”

I can tell you from personal experience, I'm constantly wrestling with that thing, I get my ass kicked every once in a while but I'm winning far more battles than I did when I was younger.  

Social Media is full of this stuff.  I often wonder if people really believe their own bullshit.  Forums, blog-posts, etc. it's all imprinting patterns (habits).  After a while, you learn to pick up the algorithms of others.  If you're wise, you'll pay attention to your own.

SIN_JONES Dec 27 '13 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 6
SIN_JONES Dec 24 '13 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 10 · Tags: college

The greatest lessons are salted wounds that sting as you watch your intricate plans be laid to dust. Your belief crushed. The moments when personal degradation strips away the façade and the foundation crumbles beneath it. Among the light and shadow are the shapes that are cast on a wall separating the undesired from seeping through to your conscious mind. A wall built to protect you from the harsh elements of neglected reality. Piled away are disregarded emotions and circumstance of times when life's barrage left a permanent scar on your psyche. The damage left behind by the intermittent storms dividing the tenuous calm. Beyond the threshold conscious, pointing the way to oblivion, await the demons born of this destruction. Ready and willing to lead you right back.


 It crashes your house party, trashes your living room, and sticks you with the cleaning bill for the stains left on the carpet. It takes your "ingenious idea", reduces it to a smoldering heap of failure, and dances on the ashes. It shakes your hand and stabs your throat with a poison tipped blade. It is the predator that drags the family pet into desert and feeds it to its young. It is the hit and run driver that leaves your child lying dead on the pavement. It is the time you were that driver and remained silent.  It is bitter moments of defeat, times distraught, and emotions repressed that mold your character. It influences decisions. It is the wreckage that litters your unconscious mind. 


Confronting what is unpleasant, forcing what is uncomfortable, and accepting what is undeniable breaks down the barriers that limit your progress. To gain anything tangible, learn anything of value, or move past the traps of your own design you must face this and endure. You may be left drained, bruised, and broken. This is only temporary. Whether it is superficial, or cuts flesh to the bone is a matter of approach. Ignoring the mechanism leaves you vulnerable to repeat, open to infection. Embracing it is to gain strength through experience.



*Note* - This is an updated version of a blog written on shadow psychology, originally reworked for Into The Fire. Posted here instead for new content in the works... 



CanisMachina Dec 24 '13 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 3
Sometimes when I practice martial arts it feels as if I am observing myself. As I throw the same punch for the ten thousandth time, the same kick over and over that I have practiced for years, it is as if these movements are happening through me, as if I was ‘meant’ to move this way. The same thing happens when I write, it is as if the words are being written through me rather than by me, another voice that is not my own.

 It seems almost natural to feel as if there is something else guiding me, my motions, my words, toward or from some purpose that is also not my own. Natural to the point that I GET it, yet still alien to me in the most emphatic sense of the word. 

The conscious mind is a blip on the radar when contrasted with the scale of what the brain, and the mind, are actually doing at any given time. I realize that my motions when I practice martial arts have set deeply into my muscle memory, the patterns set deeply in my brain, as the bit of my brain that part of ‘me’ is mapped to is gone over again and again, the neurons firing in the same order as the time before, and before, and before that. This creates a sense of ‘otherness’ in myself, as my conscious mind is required less and less as more is handled automatically by the mental and physical infrastructure brought about by constant, repetitive training. 

The same can be said when I write. It sometimes feels as if it is coming from ‘somewhere else’ because everything I write, the words, the order they are structured in, the rhetorical devices I might use, are all built of what I have written before, thought processes I have had before, and the current state of the complex web of patterns and ideas that comprise what I view to be ‘me’. Of course this ‘me’ is built of older patterns and ideas that have been refined or tossed aside, forever leaving their touch. The words come through me, from imprintations that run deeper than the narrow field of consciousness.

The abyss of the you that is not ‘you’ is deep. All we really have to work with at any given time is a sliver of consciousness, a microfraction of a live stream of data being mapped to our brain on a scale that would make any supercomputers metaphorical jaw drop to the floor. It’s all in there, it’s all ‘you’, yet mostly it is stuff you will never consciously remember or think about, but it’s there. This is the pool drawn from by the spiritualists and mystics of the world. 

It’s a false duality. The conscious mind, whether actor or observer, is simply a phenomenon we create. The complex machine we are is much more than our ego and our language to describe it, yet we sequester ourselves within our egos as we strive to put boundaries on our world, and in so doing creating a divide with the rest..the abyss that exists within us. 

Herein are where Gods pass on their revelations to their prophets, and herein is where the hereafter was born. The ‘other’ is simply ‘the rest’ once you close the gap, and truly realize the great lie of the Magi.

Dan_Dread Dec 19 '13 · Rate: 4.42 · Comments: 15
My internet sabbatical has been refreshing.  

Only since Thanksgiving have I taken a more steps away from the internet to focus on doctor appointments and legal issues pertaining to my injury claim.  My biggest hurdle was waiting and finally getting a much needed test under my belt.  The insurance company was not playing fair but eventually I won out, and the clearance for the test was only 30 days late. Surgery will most likely be needed, so I will not be going back to work anytime soon.  

Most of the world sees this time of year as a season of gift giving and stress.  The government saw fit to keep me overseas for several of my holiday seasons to project military power to our allies and our enemies.  In hindsight I saw the weaning away of sentiment and socialization from merriment had a positive role in me breaking free of the dogma I was born into.  Now 2 weeks into December, I barely notice the buzz and chaos people feel as we walk quickly towards next months credit card bills and new year resolutions.  

But some residue remains.  

I still look forward to the lights, and the smell of pine wherever I go.  It is punctuated by forced courtesy and tidings of merry this, and merry that.  Keep him in this day, and so on.  The inflated pricing for gift items, tactically displayed and marked down from inflated prices last month.  What a bargain. 

At least I will get to see family I don't normally see during the year, at least some reason exists to stay in touch.  

My reasons for enjoying the holidays have waned, but I feel no guilt in enjoying the decoration, or the food and free presents.  

Next stop, tax season. 

Ghostly1 Dec 15 '13 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 11
Pages: « 1 2 3 4 5 ... » »»

Issue Reporting

Report any issues to He may, or may not, get back to you in a timely manner.