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Sometimes when I practice martial arts it feels as if I am observing myself. As I throw the same punch for the ten thousandth time, the same kick over and over that I have practiced for years, it is as if these movements are happening through me, as if I was ‘meant’ to move this way. The same thing happens when I write, it is as if the words are being written through me rather than by me, another voice that is not my own.

 It seems almost natural to feel as if there is something else guiding me, my motions, my words, toward or from some purpose that is also not my own. Natural to the point that I GET it, yet still alien to me in the most emphatic sense of the word. 

The conscious mind is a blip on the radar when contrasted with the scale of what the brain, and the mind, are actually doing at any given time. I realize that my motions when I practice martial arts have set deeply into my muscle memory, the patterns set deeply in my brain, as the bit of my brain that part of ‘me’ is mapped to is gone over again and again, the neurons firing in the same order as the time before, and before, and before that. This creates a sense of ‘otherness’ in myself, as my conscious mind is required less and less as more is handled automatically by the mental and physical infrastructure brought about by constant, repetitive training. 

The same can be said when I write. It sometimes feels as if it is coming from ‘somewhere else’ because everything I write, the words, the order they are structured in, the rhetorical devices I might use, are all built of what I have written before, thought processes I have had before, and the current state of the complex web of patterns and ideas that comprise what I view to be ‘me’. Of course this ‘me’ is built of older patterns and ideas that have been refined or tossed aside, forever leaving their touch. The words come through me, from imprintations that run deeper than the narrow field of consciousness.

The abyss of the you that is not ‘you’ is deep. All we really have to work with at any given time is a sliver of consciousness, a microfraction of a live stream of data being mapped to our brain on a scale that would make any supercomputers metaphorical jaw drop to the floor. It’s all in there, it’s all ‘you’, yet mostly it is stuff you will never consciously remember or think about, but it’s there. This is the pool drawn from by the spiritualists and mystics of the world. 

It’s a false duality. The conscious mind, whether actor or observer, is simply a phenomenon we create. The complex machine we are is much more than our ego and our language to describe it, yet we sequester ourselves within our egos as we strive to put boundaries on our world, and in so doing creating a divide with the rest..the abyss that exists within us. 

Herein are where Gods pass on their revelations to their prophets, and herein is where the hereafter was born. The ‘other’ is simply ‘the rest’ once you close the gap, and truly realize the great lie of the Magi.

Dan_Dread Dec 19 '13 · Rate: 4.42 · Comments: 15
My internet sabbatical has been refreshing.  

Only since Thanksgiving have I taken a more steps away from the internet to focus on doctor appointments and legal issues pertaining to my injury claim.  My biggest hurdle was waiting and finally getting a much needed test under my belt.  The insurance company was not playing fair but eventually I won out, and the clearance for the test was only 30 days late. Surgery will most likely be needed, so I will not be going back to work anytime soon.  

Most of the world sees this time of year as a season of gift giving and stress.  The government saw fit to keep me overseas for several of my holiday seasons to project military power to our allies and our enemies.  In hindsight I saw the weaning away of sentiment and socialization from merriment had a positive role in me breaking free of the dogma I was born into.  Now 2 weeks into December, I barely notice the buzz and chaos people feel as we walk quickly towards next months credit card bills and new year resolutions.  

But some residue remains.  

I still look forward to the lights, and the smell of pine wherever I go.  It is punctuated by forced courtesy and tidings of merry this, and merry that.  Keep him in this day, and so on.  The inflated pricing for gift items, tactically displayed and marked down from inflated prices last month.  What a bargain. 

At least I will get to see family I don't normally see during the year, at least some reason exists to stay in touch.  

My reasons for enjoying the holidays have waned, but I feel no guilt in enjoying the decoration, or the food and free presents.  

Next stop, tax season. 

Ghostly1 Dec 15 '13 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 11
SIN_JONES Dec 14 '13 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 9
Not only is it one of the great movies of our generation
(click) it is also the greatest mystery of our reality. Why do we live in a universe with heat?

This question has been posed and re-posed under different rubrics, but the essence of it remains. As Huw Price neatly put it, the question is, why does the universe have a minimal entropy at start? And yeah, this is an argument for god. Not the god of fairy tales, but the arche of existence itself. The patterning. The fact that brains, galaxies, and internets all map to the same cloud.

As a mathematical philosopher, one of the things that really interests me is Continuity. In short, whether there are necessary gaps in measurement. Quantum mechanics requires it, yet it would seem that this apparent discreteness requires a deeper level of continuity in order to be accounted for.
There may be gaps in measurement, but these are built in to a system which transcends certain measures according to its own redundancies (normally represented as the paired Heisenbergs).

Certainly, there are some avant garde ways of avoiding this dilemma, but it still persists as the most important question in all of philosophy. Known by many names, yet most famous as "Why should anything exist?," it is the issue that I personally return to most often in contemplation.

We're here. Ergo, there is a "god". Or Arche. Or whatever you want to call it without labeling it. Long ago, there was an atheist philosopher who realized this truth. He is now worshiped as a god by the ignorant. To others, he is an archetype. To others, a simple human being. And no, I'm definitely not talking about Yeshua ben Yusuf. The Son of my god is named Avalokitesvara. And he is nothing more than the "patron saint" of keeping it real.

JK Dec 13 '13 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 18

Me:  Most men are utterly clueless about the inner mysteries of the Vagina.  .


Him:  It's a strange thing indeed but I've learned to Master it.


Me:  You really think so huh?  I doubt you know the inner workings of my Vagina.


Him:  Will you stop calling it a Vagina?  It sounds like some disease.


Me:  What would you rather call my Vagina?

Him:  Anything, a pussy, a cunt anything but a Vagina.


Me:  I see, so you rely (heavily) on the facticity of things, unless it doesn't appeal to your personal preference pallet?  Not using proper names for things is pandering to fantasy but the term Vagina is an exception to the rule is that it?  You would rather pander to your own fantasies?


Him:  No, you are putting words in my mouth!


Me:  Am I?  I could probably link up a dozen forum posts where you are lambasting other users for using personal terms and definitions because the truth is well, too harsh to accept.  That people prefer to romanticize and you find this utterly stupid.


Him:  I just don't like it.  It sounds gross.


Me:  What, like Gravity should be called pookie-puss because well, it just sounds better?


Here's a Facticity:

vagina (n.) , from Latin vagina "sheath, scabbard" (plural vaginae), from PIE *wag-ina- (cf. Lithuanian voziu "ro cover with a hollow thing"), from root *wag- "to break, split, bite." Probably the ancient notion is of a sheath made from a split piece of wood (see sheath). A modern medical word; the Latin word was not used in an anatomical sense in classical times. Anthropological vagina dentata is attested from 1908.



genital (adj.)
late 14c., in membres genytal
"the genitals," from Latin genitalis "pertaining to generation or birth" (also a by-name of the goddess Diana), from genitus, past participle of gignere "to beget" (see genus). As a noun meaning "sex organ" from mid-15c.


Him:  If you're calling me a hypocrite, you're wrong!


Me:  I am, your counter-argument is even less convincing than your argument against the Vagina.


[This dialogue represents a dramatization of a recent chat discussion]






SIN_JONES Dec 1 '13 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 21 · Tags: poison apple radio
John Dee and Edward Kelley are famous for giving the world the Enochian system of Magick. An angelic system par excellence. What is not largely known, and highly disputed, is that they also charted the inverses of those magickal "spaces". Much like the relation of the Qlippoth to the QBL, these "infernal" orders represent what Grant termed "atavisms," or declinations which are the part of any directed (vectored) system.

The Second Law understands this quite well, yet imparts a different bit of interpretive meaning to it: for any closed system, there will be more outcomes which show an increase in combinatorial/permutational possibility. But hey, as we all know, the Second Law really just deals with the phenomenon of not being able to smell a fart unless you happen to be pretty close to the farter on release.

One thing I'm reminded of here is the depiction of Atu XII (The Hanged Man) in the Thoth Tarot. And not just that interpretation. Is it Christ Crucified, or rather Odin on Yggdrasil? Hanging upside down has one rather peculiar property. It forces more blood to the brain.

Consider the Magus Crowley for a second. Despite all of his triumphs, he was bitch-whipped by Choronzon in the Desert Working. Which of course, gets back to Dee and Kelley. Are we charting the "netherworld," or just the nethers of our own world?

Keep in mind, the Latin makes this a participle. Think of it like an adjective on verbal steroids. It's not the "Order of Descent," rather, it is the Order of Descending.

The Way to walk the Path back through the Mirror.

As Grant said: "We may thus posit anti-worlds based upon the application of each sephira to its opposite, thereby obtaining a glimpse not only of the back of the Tree, but of the Tree's total reversal in respect of its obverse, which constitutes the world of appearances."

JK Nov 29 '13 · Rate: 4.60 · Comments: 9

Sancta simplicitas,

Come down and visit us,

We're in need of hope.

Earth hangs once again,

The moon hides in shame,

The sun spits our name.

I've seen Pegasus lose,

To Equuleus' hooves,

Fallen off of donkey's ruse.

Jester steals the crown,

From the king of this ghost town,

Kiss the ring of this old clown.

I'm your God now.

MasterFaster Nov 27 '13 · Rate: 5
SIN_JONES Nov 26 '13 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 9 · Tags: redundancy, fails
Ghostly1 Nov 25 '13 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 1
I know you're reading this, Ronald. You've already PROVEN that you read everything here. How about manning up? Sounds silly to you, right? You know, not blocking comments, that kinda thing.

You will not get booted from this place for "hurting my feelings". How about you take ALL of your JK-angst and BRING IT to someplace where you can't hide behind blocked comments or zealous mods? Bring it here, you fat faggot, if you actually have shit to say.

Otherwise, sit the fuck down and go make you YET ANOTHER video about how you just can't get my sack out of your mouth. And make sure you don't let anyone rate or comment. Fucking pussy.

LOL, I was gonna actually make a meme on Ron French with the scratching of the BACK-HAIR. I decided it really wasn't worth the effort. I mean seriously, he'll grow it BACK in 37 minutes. That's his superpower. The ability to re-grow back hair.

I'd give you a clock to show up, Ronnie, but I already know you're a bitch. Prove me wrong. Or go make another video about me that can't be commented on. Your choice, faggot.

JK Nov 25 '13 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 28
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