Respect: The Foundation | Forum

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XiaoGui17
XiaoGui17 Oct 12
I've been batting around the idea for a series of threads on various topics about how humans relate to one another. This is what I think should be the first.


I open up the floor with three questions (which I also answer).


Respect:

(1) What does it mean to you?

(2) How is it earned?

(3) If it is lost, can it be regained?



(1) What does it mean to you?
I don't care about most people. Respect means I actually have some reason to give a shit about you. Maybe I admire you. Maybe I recognize you as a force to be reckoned with, even if I am not fond of you. Maybe I am interested in hearing what you have to say. For me, respect means you actually appear on my radar as an individual instead of a generic, interchangeable one of the masses.


(2) How is it earned?
My respect is earned by showing me you can own your shit. Owning your shit means taking care of business, rolling with setbacks and finding a way. Owning your shit means that if you fuck up, then you admit it, learn from it, and clean up your mess. Owning your shit means you are real, avoid posturing, either keep your private shit private or are brutally open about exactly how you are, warts and all.

(3) If it is lost, can it be regained?

Respect is a sliding scale for me. So you lose respect in the opposite way you earn it. If you're on my radar, I have a running tally in my head for you.


If you lose so much respect that your score dips into the negative, you don't go back to being beneath my notice. I'm not cautiously neutral with you as I am with others. At best, I'm actively going to make a point of avoiding you.

The Forum post is edited by XiaoGui17 Oct 12
DefaultNamesake

I'm going to answer in the sense of respect and courtesy being synonymous. 


(1) What does it mean to you?

An image of the Gadsden Flag would be sufficient here. 
 
(2) How is it earned?

Granted in tiers to everyone. Everyone I interact with starts off with a certain degree of respect. Sometimes the first thing someone says loses it, but in most cases it's what they do or how they do it that revokes it. So, much in the way the judicial system judges defendants.


(3) If it is lost, can it be regained?

I don't know. I'll let you know if it ever happens.  Maybe even in some 99 cent store parking lot. (esoteric reference) 

The Forum post is edited by DefaultNamesake Oct 12
SIN_JONES
SIN_JONES Oct 13

Respect:

(1) What does it mean to you?

  Credibility based on merit.



(2) How is it earned?

  Through demonstration.


(3) If it is lost, can it be regained?

   Only if one learns from errors of the past and acquires merit in the future.   If one repeats egregious errors,  I'd find it difficult to even pay attention enough to determine that it warrants redemption. 





XiaoGui17
XiaoGui17 Oct 13

I'm going to answer in the sense of respect and courtesy being synonymous. 


To me, courtesy is rooted in the actor, but respect is rooted in the subject. A courteous person shows courtesy, but a respectable person gets respect.


An image of the Gadsden Flag would be sufficient here.


It indicates how anal I am that I was 99.9% certain of what that was, but Googled it anyway to be sure. (I was right.)


So is that the starting point? "Don't fuck with me, I won't fuck with you?"


To me the whole reason I don't tread on the snake is because it bites. A worm can be tread on without consequence. So even that degree of respect requires a certain standard.


Maybe even in some 99 cent store parking lot. (esoteric reference) 


I'll admit you lost me.


SIN, your answers are short enough that they raise questions of definition on their own.


A lot of people equivocate the term respect. Some demand to be shown "respect" before they will show it, or demand that their "respect" be reciprocated, but expect to be shown a higher tier of respect than that they show.

dimitri
dimitri Oct 13
Respects is something which grows and is earned over time.

It comes in various stages= 1) recognition 2) giving credit 3) admiration
The choice of regaining lost respect is up to the one measuring it up.


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